Avatar: James Cameron Brings Christmas Early

Twas the week before Christmas, eyes glued to the screen.

Not a creature was stirring, not even a teen.

The effects were crafted so neatly with care

In hopes that audiences soon would be there.

The viewers were nestled all snug in their seats

While visions of Na’Vi performed 3D feats.

And this critic, prepped for a boatload of crap

At Avatar’s end felt the impulse to clap.

The Princess and the Frog: Best Disney Animated Film in Over a Decade

What a relief. After relying on Pixar for over a decade, and after years of disappointing traditionally animated output, and after the closing and re-opening of the door on the style of film Disney has been best known for, we finally have another great Disney animated musical. John Musker and Ron Clements have brought us the best Disney animated film since their own Hercules twelve years ago. The songs by Randy Newman are lively, catchy, and heartfelt, and for the first time in God knows how long, there is a deep list of supporting characters who have their own songs, and we manage to care about all of them. Think Disney’s The Bayou Book. It takes a bit to settle in to the film, since you’re immediately comparing it to the greats… but once they get to the bayou, you realize that with the greats is right where The Princess and the Frog belongs.

Invictus: It Fails to Interest-us

The worst thing about Invictus is the wasted potential. You have Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela, one of the most fascinating characters of the last century, and you relegate him to a one-dimensional study of Mandela as a rugby fan. They cover his imprisonment and his rise to power in a montage in the first four minutes of the film, and then from there on, all we hear about is Mandela obsessing over rugby as his advisers all try to get him to discuss issues of state. Was Mandela such a one-note, rugby-hungry, border-irresponsible leader? Of course not. But unless you come into this film with a pre-existing thorough knowledge of Mandela and the sport of rugby, this film’s depictions will likely confuse and bore you. The characters have little complexity, the sports action is shot in a perplexing manner, and Eastwood has his usual lovely cinematography and hollow first draft of a script to try to carry the film along.

Fantastic Mr. Fox- Falls Short of Fantastic, But Mr. Fox is Quite Good

Wes Anderson has made a career out of hip irony, and one can picture him completely embracing the imperfections in his quirky stop-motion animation adaptation of Roald Dahl’s The Fantastic Mr. Fox. In some ways, his style suits the film perfectly– after all, a two-dimensional character in a children’s animated film can still have warmth, wit, and heart. The film is perfectly executed within the style, and Anderson’s hand stays steady from beginning to end. However, since Anderson never aims for transcendence, it settles for being a very fun trifle of a film, and while I left the theater smiling, it had the unfortunate circumstance of coming out in the best year in animated film history, so its impact is diminished.

Old Dogs: Bad Dogs! *Whacks Old Dogs On Nose With Paper*

You’d think a movie like Old Dogs wouldn’t get made anymore. You’d think most stars would have an ounce more dignity than to take part in a film like this. You would think Robin Williams wouldn’t get locked in a spray tan room, and then proceed to walk around with an offensive brown face, made more offensive by the fact that, ha, ha, ha, Indians and Spanish people repeatedly mistaken him for their own minority. You would think John Travolta do multiple pee jokes, and a gag that involves him mugging wildly as an incredibly fake penguin nibbles on his ear. You would think Seth Green would have better things to do than get hit in the testicles by a golf ball and suffer implied sodomy at the hands of a gorilla, a gag which has never worked since it was done perfectly in Trading Places over 25 years ago. You would think Rita Wilson, wife of Tom Hanks, wouldn’t play a cross-eyed hand model who gets her hands slammed in a trunk as she flails “comically” (I use the term loosely) as the soundtrack blares “Big Girls Don’t Cry.” You would think all of these things. You would be wrong.

The Blind Side- How to Be An Inspiring True Story Without Becoming Offensive

The Blind Side is not a great movie, but it is a smart and tasteful one. Unlike other inspiring true life stories where benevolent white people have their lives changed forever when they reach out to help an underprivileged black child with a haunted past, it dodges most of the easy manipulation pitfalls and manages to earn its engaging demeanor. Plus, it doesn’t limit itself to trying to please only one demographic. It’s about a woman, but there’s plenty of sports for the men (and Sandra Bullock has never looked better). Its heroes are conservative, charitable Christians, yet the movie doesn’t ignore the hypocrisies inherent in their lifestyle, thus placating liberal viewers. Finally, the story itself doesn’t just stop at a high school championship or a “big game”– it’s not merely a symbolic victory, it’s a rags-to-riches tale that ends with the NFL Draft, when the hero becomes a millionaire and up-and-coming star in the league.

(untitled): Modern Art Gets a Kick in the Bucket

Every time I go to the MoMA in New York City, there are many exhibits that I’m enormously impressed with. There are also an equal amount of exhibits that I think are absolute thoughtless garbage. Examples: a canvas painted black… and that’s all. Or a pink light in a corner, entitled “Pink Light in the Corner.” It’s supposed to make you think about what art means, or what colors mean in corners… or something else that to me, in my quasi-professional opinion, seems stupid and one-note. Jonathan Parker’s satire on contemporary art, called “(untitled),” tackles the issue of the fine line between art and crap.

Michael Jackson’s This Is It: The King of Pop’s Touching Curtain Call

When Michael Jackson passed away earlier this year, the media left us with a vivid impression of his final days as a hollowed-out husk of a man, a drug-addled paranoid freak drowning in bankruptcy and depression. As someone who grew up loving his music and admiring the dance skills that I would certainly never have, it pained me to see an icon and unparalleled talent like Jackson having wasted away. Thank goodness for This Is It, a touching, heartfelt, and exciting concert documentary that shows the side of Jackson the media never liked to portray—the hard-working perfectionist superstar who even at the age of 50 could sing beautifully and hold his own in a dance routine.

Zombieland: Rules to Live By in a Zombie Apocalypse

Zombieland, which will almost certainly fill the last slot of my alphabetically organized DVD shelf, delivers laughs with more pinpoint accuracy than nearly any comedy this year. It’s not particularly deep, and it’s not particularly outlandish, but it is satisfying as can be, with a funny premise, terrific banter, convincing gore, and a swinging attitude that keeps things breezy even as the outlook for the main characters appears grim. It also boasts the funniest cameo appearance of the year by a country mile.

New Moon: Who Needs Plot When You Have Abs?

New Moon, the meandering new entry in the Twilight series directed by Chris Weitz, continues the same theme of melodramatic teen passion/symbolism for abstinence. This time, however, we get more than two hours of it, and the basic “plot” of lonely Bella meets a hot guy who it turns out is secretly a monster while other dangerous vampires put her in danger just seems like a re-hash this time around. The budget is bigger and the effects far more lavish, but the dialogue is also more laughable and the logic behind events harder to understand. While trying to place emphasis on a Twilight sequel is ignoring the fact that the overwhelming majority of the audience is only going to fantasize about rubbing Taylor Lautner’s abs, I couldn’t help but notice the lion’s share of folks sitting with me laughing at every attempt at earnest passionate dialogue. Could this be the first hit film that people know going in is going to be bad?